Embrace the Storm

Every time it begins to rain, our dog goes into a subtle state of panic. Wide eyed, he swiftly and instinctively retreats to a secure part of our house, often the bath tub or shower. He stays there until the drumming of the drops cease and imminent danger has, apparently, passed. You can imagine his reaction to thunder storms – drooling, panting, sweating. It is a scene. We often poke fun at him for being a ‘scared-y’ cat. Except, every cat I know has a tough soul and an equally bad-ass personality. So, maybe he doesn’t deserve the compliment.

Last night I dreamed that I, along with my husband and young daughters, was swimming through some turbulent water that transformed into an even more turbulent storm. It didn’t start out this way. It never does, right?

It was the weekend in my dream and we were spending a relaxing afternoon floating in the Caribbean sea. We were enjoying the natural relaxation effects that only warm, calm, salty seawater can provide to the human body – like a buoyant, rhythmic, peaceful bath. I felt safe. I felt at one with our earth and connected to the harmonious relationship between land and water. Blue skies were above my horizon. White sand was below my floating toes. I was submerged in clear, teal water in the company of my created family. Life was bliss.

For all accounts, I was dreaming my reality; My reoccurring reality was my dream. Living on a Caribbean island and making a daily connection to the ocean in our backyard was, indeed, my reality.

But, back to my dream: The purity of our Sunday afternoon bliss was interrupted by one notable, dark cloud rolling along overhead. It demanded attention. It was the introduction to the evil antagonist in a movie who, as Hollywood has conditioned you to expect, could trail blaze a militia of mischief. That lone cloud carried the kind of evil spirit that would make you shutter. The kind you brace yourself for in anticipation of the unrest that would soon come. Without spoken words, my husband and I exchanged a gaze as if to say, “how do we want to proceed through this? Pack up and head in? Or embrace the storm knowing the delight of calmness that only happens immediately following an impressive rainfall?”

We chose the path with the biggest potential reward as we have practiced and conditioned ourselves to do. We stayed to embrace the storm.

Once upon a time, I was our dog. I retracted at the first sensation of fear. I shut down at the slightest emotion of discomfort. I bowed out at the first trigger of hardship in just about every avenue of my life. I lived at the corner of Easy Street and Comfort Lane with my dog Status Quo and a fish named Vanilla. It was the safest mental neighborhood in existence. Yet, no matter how content I made my surroundings, my inner disillusion kept haunting me. My authentic self screamed for freedom. I instinctively knew that the good stuff, the adventures that would blow the sky wide open, were waiting to be explored. Then one day, I dug deeper than I ever had, deeper than I ever thought possible, and found enough courage to explore new mental real estate.

I have yet to return to that restrictive neighborhood.

Science has taught us that with every cause, there is an effect. With every action, there is a reaction. With every challenging decision made, there is a consequence labeled on a spectrum of ‘good’ to ‘bad’. My experience leads to conclude that this is usually in line with the degree of how well expectations are managed and met. There is no guarantee that the effect, reaction, or consequence will result as you intend it to.

The unknown is the hardest part, the part that most of us trip over or avoid all together.

Are challenging decisions necessary? You bet they are. Can big, potentially life changing decisions elicit fear and discomfort? Abso-frickin-lutely they can! But, I ask you – if there are no guarantees in life, what holds you back from pushing yourself beyond your perceived limits? What stops you from dreaming big and moving toward the best possible life you can imagine?

What I have realized is that the more practice I have making uncomfortable decisions, the more the uncomfortable feelings associated with these decisions become comfortable. To say this another way:

The uncomfortable becomes comfortable, when you become comfortable being uncomfortable.

Pause and repeat that sentence. Again. Then again, until it seeps into your subconscious!

You are probably wondering: “Why on earth would I ever willingly sign up to be uncomfortable? What is wrong with the comfort associated with playing it safe?”

The answer is simple: the other side of discomfort is where all of the good stuff happens. And, trust me, you really want to be where all of the good stuff happens.

Where would you be if you never overcame the discomfort of driving a car for the first time? You would be standing at a bus stop somewhere, or going broke paying Uber drivers. Or worst, you would stay at home feeling restricted and missing out on life.

What would you be doing if you never took the plunge to support yourself and move out of your parent’s house? As delightful as your mother’s home baked chocolate chip cookies smell, independence and self-confidence smell sweeter.

I have fallen on my face during so many attempts at ‘adulting’, that I could play you an endless blooper reel. Eventually, I stopped feeling these face-burns as failures because it was completely counterproductive to moving forward with confidence.

Stripping away the sugar coating, you too may fall down as the result of making difficult decisions. Will it feel comfortable? Likely, not. BUT, have confidence that you have not failed. Instead, see the opportunity you created to really feel into the discomfort of falling. See the opportunity that is on the other side of feeling discomfort.  Then, pick yourself up, put one foot in front of the other, and keep creating the path in the direction of your dreams.

Speaking of, you are probably wondering what happened in my dream once we decided to embrace the storm with hopes of catching that blissful moment of post-storm stillness. Well, we all got struck by lightning, drowned, and died. The end.

Juuuust kidding!! We were fine. Of course we were fine. But, the storm did get worst before it got better. We were tossed around by waves. We were scared. We clenched each other to protect and feel protected. The greyish black, angry sky vented its frustration with millions of rain pellets that felt more like razor blades. At times, it didn’t seem like it was ever going to end. I questioned our decision to stay, but we stayed. We forged our way through the storm-induced tribulations, and as nature would have it, the storm passed. Our discomfort was only temporary. Once the storm moved on from our little piece of paradise, the calm, still sensation was more satisfying than I ever could have dreamed it to be, even for a dream.

In that moment, I felt alive. I felt connected to my family for sharing our adventure. There was no separation between us and our surroundings - we were one with nature. My heart joyfully opened wide to all of the possibilities. Best of all, the previously felt discomfort was a stratosphere away from my dream... and my reality.